This is the artificial intelligence voice of Ali Abdaal narrating this pod slice summary of the Deep Dive Podcast.

During the ‘Deep Dive’ podcast, guest Aliénor Hunte, a professional public speaking coach, shared her personal journey of overcoming social anxiety, a condition that once left her unable to perform basic tasks, such as interacting with a cashier or asking for help. She defines shyness differently from social anxiety; the former, she opines, is not necessarily a negative thing. It can be seen as an individual choosing to observe rather than demand attention. This outlook could provide the ‘shy’ person insight into the feelings of others, developing a heightened emotional sensitivity. However, the line is crossed into anxiety when the individual finds it almost impossible to execute everyday tasks due to that inherent fear of engagement.

In a turn of conversation, host Ali Abdaal delves into the implications of identifying with shyness, suggesting that often, it becomes a limiting belief system. He argues that a person can mistake shyness as an irreversible trait, similar to a fixed physical characteristic, which can hinder personal growth and progress. He and Aliénor agree that while everyone falls on a different point in the shyness-confidence spectrum, striving towards growing confidence is generally beneficial.

Aliénor also recounted how her inability to overcome her anxiety led to a breaking point during her university years. This episode prompted her to seek help for her condition. The experience allowed her to reflect on the suffocating drawbacks of extreme shyness or social anxiety, and how it could hamper not only her own life, but also the lives of people around her.

In the latter portion of the podcast, Ali expounds on his soon-to-be-released book, “Feelgood productivity – How to do more what matters to you.” The book, which took three years to develop, will be released at the end of December 2023. Pre-ordering the book provides access to an exclusive live online workshop about annual planning, goal setting, and reflection, which Ali plans to host during the first weekend of January 2024. This live workshop aims to facilitate a global audience to not just plan their life goals, but also to devise the systems to achieve them while enjoying the journey.

In conclusion, Aliénor’s journey is not just a personal tale of overcoming anxiety. It provokes listeners to evaluate their own self-perceptions, encouraging them to move beyond self-imposed boundaries and seek personal growth.

In the podcast, Aliénor Hunte insightfully discusses how her perception and approach towards shyness and social anxiety underwent a significant transformation. She opens up about her fears of making shyness and confidence a binary choice, highlighting how she wishes to avoid moving people struggling with shyness towards feelings of inadequacy, by making confidence appear as the only acceptable norm. At the same time, she asserts that developing confidence should not be disregarded; suggesting that the process of self-improvement and discovery of self-worth applies to both the shy and the outgoing types.

Addressing the need for people on both ends of the spectrum to tackle their insecurities or self-limiting beliefs, she underscores how different insecurities manifest through communication. For instance, the fear of not being smart enough could initiate shyness in one individual, compelling them to remain silent until they have something ‘perfect’ to say, whereas, for another, the same insecurity may trigger an overcompensation of speech, stemming from a fear of silence.

Aliénor shares the catalyst for her journey to become a public speaking coach was propelled by the realization during her stint as a data analyst at a tech-startup, of the necessity to conquer her insecurities. Her breakthrough moment arrived during the COVID-19 lockdown of 2021 when she stumbled upon a live coaching session on YouTube hosted by two co-founders of Al speaking, coaching host Ali Abdaal in public speaking. Inspired by this, she used the platform to develop her skills.

A turning point in her journey was her experience with a therapist specializing in social anxiety. The therapist encouraged Aliénor to jot down self-deprecating thoughts and measure them against pieces of evidence that confirmed or debunked these thoughts. This process of stepping back, distancing herself from the negativity surrounding her self-belief, and viewing it objectively, helped her gain a clearer perspective of her strengths. She began seeing her anxiety-driven belief system as malleable and not unchangeable like she’d previously presumed.

However, despite being a gradual process and tiresome at times, Aliénor acknowledges that her efforts to overcome her anxieties led to not just an increase in empathy for herself but also for others. Her strides towards breaking down the rigid structure of ‘rights and wrongs’ in her life not only allowed her to question her insecurities but also cultivate a greater understanding of others’ perspectives. The shifting of her insecurities from one aspect of her life to another, as she began overcoming them, only made her more aware of her ability to transform her inhibitions into strengths.

In addressing the rigidity of her belief system, Aliénor discusses how her judgments were focused mostly on herself, even while she expressed envy towards others who were more outgoing. Noting how a person’s judgments on themselves tend to reflect their judgments on others, she realized the self-conscious judgements she had for being too loud or dramatic directly contributed to her negative views on others who were the same way. This evolved as she began to find evidence to challenge her limiting belief systems, consequently leading to her judging herself and others less when expressions of high energy emerged.

Discussing her life during university and transitioning to employment, Aliénor provides further insight into the analyzation of social anxiety in different environments. Despite her ability to accomplish tasks, she describes her life as being exhausting due to consistently living on a knife’s edge between her insecurity of speaking and the fear of the consequences of choosing silence. For instance, in a professional setting, she would often find herself caught between speaking to clients about a project, thereby battling her fear of asking questions, and the consequence of decreased responsibilities or possibly losing her job if she chose to stay silent.

Aliénor also narrates how therapy wasn’t an end-all solution to her anxieties. Instead, it facilitated the discovery of ease, calm, and comfort, drastically lowering her exhaustion levels. Her insights align with host, Ali Abdaal’s anecdotes about his own anxieties during presenting at conferences, particularly when speaking in front of an older audience or following a dynamically impressive speaker. Despite the immense value his presentations invariably offer, he admits to still wrestling with feelings of “not being good enough”.

Aliénor relates to this by stating that everyone, regardless of their degree of shyness or outgoing nature, finds themselves on this knife-edge daily, with experiences varying based on differing situational demands and the internal state. Following this, the conversation shifts from the presence of social anxiety to the strategies adopted to navigate it. She outlines how having undergone therapy, she was not so much free of social anxiety but rather equipped with reliable strategies to manage it. She recognized the significance of these feelings, acknowledging them as an indicator of care and excitement rather than internal indicators of failure or inadequacy.

The next topic transported the discussion to 2021, as Aliénor recalls stumbling upon a live coaching session on YouTube, further propelling her journey to becoming a public speaking coach. The video was of Ali Abdaal and Michael Inist engaging in public speaking training games, an insightful experience that sparked Aliénor’s interest in joining the next cohort of the fundamentals course they were advertising.

Aliénor’s transformation truly began to unfold when she enrolled in the public speaking course. Despite her initial apprehension, she emerged from the very first session feeling exhilarated. It was during one of the course’s games, “Rapid Fire Analogies” that she received her first honest compliment about her speaking prowess. This validation was unique for her since receiving constructive feedback is not a practice common in day-to-day interactions at work. The affirmation had a significant impact, making her realize and acknowledge her inherent traits – her energy, confidence, and lively personality, which until then she had been suppressing.

The course advocated a hands-on practice-oriented approach. It involved performing speaking games designed to alleviate the fear of speaking and foster spontaneity, to help participants speak before they think. An example of this was a game called “Rapid Fire Analogies”, where participants were asked to complete sentences, forcing immediate responses and reducing room for overthinking.

Continuing the exchange, Ali Abdaal revealed his struggle with perfectionism while creating content. Live sessions demanded an immediate response, leaving no scope for prolonged thinking, thereby resulting in a more dynamic and fluid interaction. The contrast he drew was with pre-recorded content where the luxury of multiple takes often led to a crippling pursuit of perfectionism.

Aliénor proposed an interesting solution for this struggle; that people need to flip their perception about public speaking. Instead of an ‘outside in’ approach where people learn speaking skills to increase confidence, she suggested an ‘inside out’ approach. This emphasizes intrinsic acceptance of abilities and letting go of self-doubt. Building on this premise, she suggested most people already have adequate speaking abilities when interacting with family and friends, it’s just about extending this confidence to all situations.

Referring back to his school days, Ali Abdaal shared a personal turning point where his Headmaster raised concerns about his lack of confidence, leading him to consciously challenge his fear of speaking. He started a practice of asking questions in each class and used close-up magic as a way to connect and initiate conversations. This stage in Ali’s life mirrors the foundational principle of Aliénor’s course – that confidence grows with practice and active participation.

Ali Abdaal continues the conversation by discussing his own struggles with confidence and the value in adopting ‘fake it till you make it’ mindset. Influenced by a magician he admired, he came to believe that confidence is something that can be chosen in every moment, not just acquired over time. He emphasizes that whether you’re faking it or not, the audience or people around you usually can’t tell the difference.

Aliénor agreed with this philosophy and shared an instance from the course that made her realise there could be a disconnect between how one feels on the inside and how others perceive them. She reflected that often people may feel nervous and think that everyone can see it, which might not always be the case. Both Aliénor and Ali Abdaal then addressed the societal pressure of needing to learn certain skills to conform at workplace or life in general which often leads to the undermining of a person’s intrinsic values and capabilities.

Ali Abdaal shared how he started adopting more conviction while speaking inspired by a studious friend Paul during their medical school days. He noticed that even if he ended up saying things wrong, saying them with conviction made people believe him by default. Both of them agreed on how conviction is an underrated energy giving the speaker an edge in any conversation.

Bringing up the difference in the way Brits and Americans approach speaking engagements, Ali Abdaal observes that Americans often speak about various subjects with total conviction, even when their expertise in that area is not very significant. He also observed that his team members at work are often overly cautious about being seen as too direct, even when their interactions register to him as totally normal.

Aliénor then shared her wish that people try to embrace more conviction in their everyday interactions, even if it may initially feel like they’re going too far. She assured listeners that if they feel they’ve overstepped, a simple apology can usually smooth things over.

Looking back at her journey, Aliénor shared that after the ‘ultra speaking’ course, she began leading a live class once a week as a graduate of fundamentals, which deepened her knowledge and experience.

Aliénor continued by speaking about her early days leading the live class after the ‘ultra speaking’ course. She admitted that she had initially felt like a fraud teaching public speaking, as she was not sure she had enough conviction on the topic. However, she recognized she had done the exercises before and was capable of teaching them with conviction.

Aliénor also described her process of becoming a coach, recounting that she had to submit a video of her coaching someone and write a detailed explanation of why she wanted to become a coach. She shared her joy upon being selected for coach training and admitted that she still lacked confidence in her abilities but continued to train under Michael and Tristan.

While initially, she viewed this coaching opportunity as a way to improve her current work as a data analyst. However over time, she realized that the knowledge she was gaining from coaching was life-changing. Seeing people transform in front of her eyes during coaching sessions was more fulfilling than anything else. This realization led her to quit her job and become a full-time public speaking coach with ‘ultra speaking’.

Aliénor and Ali then discussed various ‘ultra speaking’ concepts, starting with musicality in public speaking, which refers to varying one’s tones, energy, and emotions as per the context and content of speech. Aliénor explained the ‘One Thing’ concept i.e., the one key message that the audience should remember after listening to a speaker or reading a book.

Ali shared how the ‘One Thing’ concept can be applied to book writing and noted his approach of researching first, outlining second, and then writing. He admitted the challenges he faced during the process of writing his own book and stressed the importance of knowing the one key message before starting to write.

Aliénor also introduced the ‘accordion method’, wherein a speaker gradually reduces their time limit, in order to refine and condense the key message of their speech.

Finally, they discussed handling mistakes during public speaking. Beginners often apologize and draw attention to their mistake, breaking the flow of their speech. Great speakers, however, recover from mistakes quickly and can even use them to up their energy and conviction.

In this part of the podcast, Aliénor went further into the practical elements of public speaking, starting with the recovery from mistakes. She suggested various strategies including taking a breath for nervous or stumbling speakers, and using ‘summary prompts’ – sentences that trick your brain into completing them, providing a sense of direction and clarity amidst the nervousness.

Next, the topic of silence came up – a powerful tool in public speaking. Aliénor explained that from an external perspective, intentional silence come across as a signal of confidence and executive presence. Then, from an internal perspective, silence actually offers speakers the opportunity to check in and navigate their speech, to potentially discover something new or change the direction of their message.

Discussing mindset, Aliénor highlighted the role of ‘self-talk’ in effective speaking. Often, she explained, the mindset rather than the speaking ability is what’s holding people back. So, fostering positive self-talk helps to bring one’s mindset in alignment with their skillset. Aliénor referenced Michelle Obama’s perception of imposter syndrome as an example, encouraging listeners to consider how they would act if they held the same experience and gravitas that figures of high regard do.

The conversation then switched to the idea of ‘getting out of comfort zones’ in conversation. Instead of sitting back and letting others take the lead, Aliénor advised listeners to make verbal commitments in conversation, which then require them to follow up with input. This ties in with the subsequent advice she presented on speaking under pressure, from joining clubs like Toast Masters to volunteering and asking questions.

Lastly, Aliénor touched on the concept of overthinking and feeling judged in social situations. She suggested that such feelings are normal and almost impossible to totally eliminate. However, embracing these feelings, stepping out of one’s comfort zone, and expressing oneself authentically can go a long way in overcoming the fear of judgement.

This part of the podcast takes an exciting and engaging turn as host Ali Abdaal and guest Aliénor Hunte engage in a unique, enlightening exercise – the podcast game – on Aliénor’s platform, ultras.com. The podcast game is designed to have participants consider themselves as a collective voice, talking in unity. One talks whilst their name is in display, and as the name switches, the other person completes the previous speaker’s sentence.

The duo gets a prompt “If money didn’t exist,” and Ali starts by saying that if money didn’t exist, his life would be the same, as he is currently doing what he loves. He sees this as an effective introspection tool for people to look at their lives and see if their activities serve their passions or monetary gains. Ali emphasizes that we often spend a lot of our time working for money, sometimes doing things that don’t fulfill us.

In this interactive segment of the podcast, Alienor assists in moderating the game. Her platform gives the fast-paced nature of the discussion, enabling a deep dive into personal and philosophical musings about life, work, passion, and money. The segment fosters open and authentic conversation about the realities of pursuing your passions and balancing that with the necessity of money, revealing the hosts’ thoughtful insights about life patterns.

This portion of the podcast is an example of a conversation that weaves personal reflection with tangible advice, enforced by Aliénor’s engaging process to help listeners reframe their thinking. Within the discussion, both Aliénor and Ali Abdaal successfully demonstrate the power of open dialogue and reciprocation in everyday interactions, turning conversations into catalysts for understanding and personal growth.

The podcast game is a key highlight in this segment, becoming an instrument for promoting powerful introspection and making the discussion more engaging and relatable for listeners. Besides fostering community and unity, it also challenges the participants to take turns, trust their instinctual responses, and actively listen. The summarized section beckons a closer look at the implications of monetary influence on our life choices, urging listeners to self-assess and re-evaluate how their passions and purposes align with their current course in life.

In the Deep Dive podcast, host Ali Abdaal and guest Aliénor Hunte continue to play a series of exciting and brain-boosting games from Alienor’s platform, ultras.com, shedding light on complex life aspects through quick and impromptu responses. One of the highlights is the blindfolded slideshow game, where players must improvise a presentation on a topic revealed just as the game begins. Aliénor expertly discusses her newfound affinity for online chess under this pretext, masterfully tying in subsequent slide prompts to describe her journey from the perceived failure in her youth to a renewed pursuit of the game.

Prompted by random phrases appearing on-screen, Ali theorizes how personal change is akin to navigating a treasure map, focusing on the diversity offered by AI software, such as OpenAI’s GPT-3, in his daily life. There’s a deep insight in his speech, as he appreciates AI for adding diversity to his life, contrasting most humans’ common, predictable behavior. Both hosts play an intense, fast-paced game where they have to rapidly continue a story based on several given topics. The quick thinking and creativity at play show that thinking on one’s feet can be an exhilarating mental exercise, intertwining everything from chess, Nintendo, and meditation to care for plants and pop culture.

At the podcast’s end, Aliénor imparts valuable wisdom, reminding listeners to acknowledge their unique strengths and remove undue pressure to fit certain perceived molds. She encourages self-evaluation through the lens of loved ones, amplifying the focus on strengths rather than weaknesses. As the podcast signs off, we are reminded of the diversity of topics covered, the interweaving of personal experiences, philosophical musings, and insights gained from these riveting, action-packed games. While seemingly casual and fun, these games opened up layers of nuanced dialogues on self-improvement, introspection, and the importance of diverse thinking.