This is the artificial intelligence voice of Erika Kullberg narrating this pod slice summary of the Erika Taught Me Podcast.

The podcast segment kicks off with Erika Kullberg discussing her upcoming free investing workshop, encouraging listeners to sign up regardless of their current financial
standing. The discussion soon turns towards a deep dive into human emotions and their relationship with stress, with Dr. Julia DiGangi shedding light on how stress rattles our entire relationship with life. She introduces the idea of experiencing stress as an emotional energy, something she explains as neuro-electrical impulses in our brains. She warns against constantly disregarding our emotions, as over time this may lead us to live lives that feel like they don’t belong to us.

DiGangi shares her extensive experience working with trauma victims, emphasizing her understanding of the horrific things people can inflict upon each other, however, she draws attention towards the self-inflicted pain stemming from the division of our own emotional and behavioral systems. Consequences of acting contrary to how we feel include exhaustion, anxiety, and even burnout in extreme cases.

She elaborates her point by introducing one of her principles called ‘Pick a more powerful pain’. According to her, many people seek a ‘phantom option’ where they can completely avoid emotional pain, which includes feelings of stress, irritation, frustration, fear and anger. However, she insists that the notion of living a life completely void of pain is unrealistic. Instead, we should understand that all emotional pain comes from chronic situations and the ways we repeatedly abandon ourselves. Life does not offer a pain-free option, she concludes, adding that accepting this truth leads to more satisfying lives. All in all, the discussion underlines the vital role emotional understanding plays in human well-being, and the necessity to listen to what our emotions are communicating to us.

The podcast continues with a poignant conversation about emotional avoidance and the importance of confronting our fears. Dr. DiGangi shares her belief that emotional avoidance is one of the most significant global issues, as it halts us from realizing our full potential. This avoidance is not necessarily about circumventing physical situations or what other people might think or say about us, but rather about evading uneasy feelings inside ourselves.

In DiGangi’s book Energy Rising, she explores the relationship between human pain and power. She underlines that everything we aspire to attain in this life lies beyond the feelings we consistently refuse to feel. For instance, if we desire more self-confidence, we need to confront and deal with our self-doubt fearlessly. Similarly, if we want peaceful lives, we must build a deeper understanding of stress. She suggests that avoiding such uncomfortable emotions restricts our growth, power, connection, and ultimately our evolution.

The conversation pivots towards discussing how our perception of rejection differs in various aspects of our lives. Erika admits that she comfortably deals with rejection in the business context but struggles with the same when establishing friendships. Dr. DiGangi sees this as an emotional coding phenomenon, where we unconsciously associate different feelings and meanings with different domains of our lives.

Approaching the subject of friendship, Erika shares her personal struggle of having the fear of rejection while trying to establish a deeper bond with another woman. DiGangi attributes this to the potential vulnerability Erika might feel in revealing parts of herself that otherwise remain untouched in a business context.

Dr. DiGangi concludes this segment by highlighting the central dilemma in human relationships: We all function on the basis of our inner scripts. These scripts influence our perception of how relationships should operate and base our expectations on these unconscious codings. This approach, while natural, often becomes a source of pain when the reality does not align with our preconceived scripts.

The discussion intensifies with Dr. DiGangi exploring the concept of emotional coding, emphasizing its pivotal role in building and sustaining relationships. She notes that individuals often carry some unspoken expectations of others, instigated by their emotional scripts, and these can impact relationships in a profound way.

She goes on to share one of her most vital takeaways from her professional and personal experiences – “One can be powerful or right, not both”. This highlights the necessity to compromise, adapt, and occasionally overlook the need to be correct in favour of preserving harmony in relationships.

An interesting aspect covered by Dr. DiGangi is of ‘Emotional Contagion’. She explains that emotions are like contagions – as easily contractable as a common cold. The emotional energy one imbues inevitably affects those they interact with. Thus, embodying positivity and warmth can be influential in guiding the mood and behaviour of others. The crux of her message lies in focusing on self-improvement and self-adjustment, rather than expecting others to adapt to one’s comfort.

Moreover, the idea of leadership comes to the forefront. Dr. DiGangi defines ‘True Leadership’ as having the clearest emotional signal within a dynamic. She encourages individuals to be more attentive to their feelings and become capable leaders in their own life domains, be it business, social media, friendships, marriages, or parenthood.

The discussion leads to the aspect of emotions in relationships. Dr. DiGangi underlines that a common question plaguing most relationships is ‘how to make others act differently, so we don’t have to feel distressed’. However, the real directive needs to re-tail towards self-improvement and emotional growth, enabling us to better manage our reactions to others’ actions. She suggests that the fastest way to transform our relationships lies in embodying the emotion we believe is lacking in them.

Bringing it down to practical implications, Dr. DiGangi suggests a three-step exercise to boost emotional power.

1. Acknowledge the discomforting emotions experienced in a strained relationship.
2. Monitor the actions steered by these emotions – it could be gossiping, venting, or stewing the person in mind.
3. Identify the energy desired in the said relationship and strive to display that same energy.

Dr. DiGangi emphasizes that doing this enables us to give what we often expect from others to ourselves, inculcating a greater sense of emotional accountability.

In this significant segment, Dr. DiGangi broadens the dialogue into the realm of relationships, self-improvement and emotional understanding. Noteworthy is her focus on self-affection, emphasizing that individuals often expect others to love and respect them in ways they fail to provide for themselves; she challenges this by asking, “tell me all the profound ways that you love yourself.” She presents the expectation of receiving something that one is unwilling to offer themselves as a pervasive issue in relationships, leading to a stagnant emotional state within these connections.

With a discussion on psychological safety, she raises a compelling point about personal safety – “how in the world is it going to matter if the entire world is safe to me as long as I’m willing to be dangerous to myself?” Delving deeper into relationship dynamics, she stresses the need for honest self-evaluation and examination of one’s involvement in the relationship, including assessing the use of old methods of communication and initiating new ones, to foster deeper connection and intimacy.

A key question is posed here, “what meaningful steps have I taken to care for myself?” This question invites us to reflect on our consistent, intense commitments towards self-care, crucial in practicing deeper intimacy with oneself.

Dr DiGangi punctuates this section with a look at parting from relationships – a decision that oftentimes she observes is spurred after noticing that additional efforts in the relationship are unlikely to yield different results. Though this might be emotionally devastating, it becomes an essential step towards personal growth and embracing self-improvement.

A large part of Dr. DiGangi’s narrative in this segment is the valuing of emotional honesty, introspection, recognition, and validation of personal emotional needs and desires. She underscores the significance of this recognition in creating healthy, fulfilling relationships with ourselves and others.

Ultimately, an exercise is shared to help individuals assess their feelings towards stress and relaxation. Dr. DiGangi elaborates on the unexpected correlation between stress and the inability to tolerate uncertainty. She explains this intriguing relationship by labeling rest as a state of uncertainty for someone accustomed to overworking, hence triggering feelings of terror. The self-inventory exercise encourages individuals to recognize and challenge their emotional boundaries, fostering their emotional growth.

She concludes this segment with a profound statement about the brain’s primary function – predicting what comes next. She emphasizes that when this function is hampered, it cultivates confusion or uncertainty; deemed as one of the most challenging emotional states for the brain to handle.

Delving further into the dialogue, Dr. DiGangi digs deeper into the intricacies of the human mind’s adversity towards uncertainty, using hard-hitting analogies such as the brain being “allergic” to uncertainty. With her primary expertise being in stress and trauma, she offers an illuminating definition of anxiety as “a disturbed relationship with certainty.” Her counterintuitive angle on anxiety provides powerful insights; the act of obsessively seeking certainty can ultimately lead to heightened stress levels.

Dr. DiGangi then inverts the narrative, stating that it’s not certainty, but self-trust is the opposite of uncertainty. She underscores the idea that one’s peace or wellbeing shouldn’t bank entirely on external circumstances. The perception of worthiness, she posits, isn’t about external accolades but the energy of life itself. Suggesting self-experiments like sending typo-filled emails to push boundaries, Dr. DiGangi underscores that doing unconventional, uncomfortable actions can set us free from our self-constructed emotional bounds.

Discussing experiences of dealing with combat veterans suffering from PTSD, Dr. DiGangi talks about a typical avoidance strategy people use to keep pain at bay—avoiding triggers and environments that remind them of their traumatic experiences. However, she advocates facing these traumas head-on instead of evading them. She shares the inspiring success story of a veteran who opened up about his trauma repetitively, which helped him tremendously. Dr. DiGangi reiterates how transformation is within reach for all of us, provided we are willing to confront the emotions we consistently shun.

Addressing the perils of constantly suppressing our emotional discomfort, Dr. DiGangi likens energy suppression to emotional constipation. The body, she suggests, is built to purge earthly wastes, though when it comes to emotional discomfort, we tend to repress those feelings; an approach that can be detrimental in the long run. Her advice? Embrace these feelings and allow them to wash over you; that’s when the real growth commences.

In this extended dialogue, Dr. Julia DiGangi and Erika Kullberg discuss the transformative power of confronting emotional energy head-on. Dr. DiGangi likens suppressed emotional energy to a fractured perception of reality, affecting individuals’ reaction to circumstances, causing them to become more reactive, brittle, and congested.

In a powerful comparison, Dr. DiGangi relates our natural aversion to uncomfortable emotions – anger, fear, humiliation – to the human body’s instinctive rejection of constipation. She stresses that our nervous systems are capable of processing hard feelings, a declaration she backs by referencing the extraordinary phenomenon of childbirth. She insists emotional discomfort shouldn’t be avoided but released, for experiencing such energy is like birthing new creations into life.

She illustrates this concept through Erika’s ongoing struggle with chronic stress. Dr. DiGangi suggests that chronic stress might indicate an avoidance of the feeling of humiliation, the most common emotional discomfort she observes in her practice. She presents a unique model, termed “the pain tree,” which explains individuals’ approach towards their emotional discomforts. They often focus on distinct occasions or situations (the leaves) that trigger discomfort, while ignoring the deeper-rooted issues (the trunk and roots).

Dr. DiGangi offers that chronic anger often masks fear; we must bypass anger towards understanding the root cause – fear of humiliation or unworthiness. She emphasizes that this fear is not about situations but the feeling experienced within one’s own body. This reality, uncovered through her work with combat veterans, reveals that the fear of humiliation trumps the literal fear of death.

To overcome this fear, she proposes a confronting treatment called ‘prolonged exposure’ which involves intentionally triggering these unacknowledged feelings in one’s body for them to be released. She encourages Erika to progressively disappoint her audience, as her constant striving to deliver maximum output may lead to burnout.

This proactive approach revolves around the idea of emotional power and the ability to hold more resistance. She argues that frequently, the feared consequence isn’t even real; the vast energy expended in preventing it could be utilized more fruitfully. She illustrates this idea through the metaphor of a monster in the closet – creating an elaborate barricade to something that doesn’t exist.

Ending their profound conversation, Dr. DiGangi questions whether Erika’s intense dedication to her followers might be setting an unhealthy energetic standard for them. She encourages her to contemplate the potential damage to various aspects of her personal wellbeing caused by her exhausting efforts and to seek a more balanced approach moving forward.

Throughout their engaging conversation on the Erika Taught Me Podcast, host Erika Kullberg and her guest Dr. Julia DiGangi delve deeper into the negative impacts of extreme dedication to work and its toll on an individual’s health and personal well-being.

Comparatively, Erika likens herself to someone attempting to push against an immovable wall, her energy and health slowly succumbing to the relentless demands of maintaining her influence and satisfying her audience. Dr. DiGangi circles back to the concept of emotional power in alignment with the value of wealth, hinting at the true price of granular dedication weighed against the emotional well-being and personal health.

In a real-world example, Dr. DiGangi mentions an individual who despite having acquired a $300,000 bonus was unable to enjoy it because of the emotional and physical strain from maintained vigilance and unending work. The pair further discuss the paradox of ‘value’ equating to financial wealth but negatively impacting emotional wealth – another key concept in the podcast.

As Dr. DiGangi navigates the idea of ‘self-exception’, she emphasizes how disregarding personal well-being while focusing on helping others is an unsustainable pattern, especially for influential people like Erika. The concept is juxtaposed with the human body’s response to overwork and reiterated in the powerful statement, “sometimes the body says no.”

Throughout the conversation, the concept of self-trust and certainty draws parallels with the concepts of evidence and faith, underlining that oftentimes trust and faith are overlooked in favor of certainty and evidence, which Erika identifies with. She acknowledges Dr. DiGangi’s observations as “it sounds right,” reflecting on her struggle to accept slowing down can also mean growth.

Moreover, the conversation moves to an essential question; “How are we helping others while not helping ourselves?” This question sparks an internal consideration on Erika’s part, as she admits to believing she could always be the exception to the ‘rule.’

Dr. DiGangi flips the narrative when she challenges Erika with the idea of her platform’s potential to showcase not just success but also the practice of rest and the importance of personal time – concepts often lost in the rush to achieve and maintain success.

Despite understanding the concept of rest, Erika confessed her struggle with knowing how to rest and disconnect. She revealed the need for highly distracting television shows to numb her thinking mind for sleep, pointing out her struggle to call a halt to professional activities and magazines even in personal downtime.

Dr. DiGangi concludes the section with the affirmation that everyone’s rest ability may require rebuilding, like any other skill that hasn’t been utilized for a long time, and warns that the transition back to resting will likely be uncomfortable initially as the brain rebukes the unfamiliar state.

Through their intellectual discourse, Erika Kullberg and Dr. Julia DiGangi challenged preconceived notions about rest on the Erika Taught Me Podcast. Challenging assumptions about the relaxing nature of rest, Dr. DiGangi used a vivid example of someone describing their initial attempts at resting feeling like a body engulfed in flames with needles poking them. This unexpected discomfort hastened their exit from what was meant to be a calming scenario, underlining the issue at hand.

Dr. DiGangi emphasized that this initial discomfort with rest isn’t a disaster but rather evidence of the process working. She drew a fitness analogy, explaining how muscles tremble when lifting heavier weights – it may be an uncomfortable feeling, but it’s a clear sign of growth and strength – similar to the discomfort experienced when forcing ourselves to rest after long periods of non-stop work. She explained how resting might initially invoke feelings of unrest or danger as the body is out of practice.

Dr. DiGangi continued with another example of a person experiencing body pain during a short acupuncture session. Their urge to remove the needles and abandon the session altogether symbolizes the body’s resistance to foreign states like rest when it’s been conditioned for relentless activity. She reassured listeners that such discomfort doesn’t signify any brokenness, but rather, an untrained ‘muscle’ in need of patience and gradual conditioning back to the state of rest.

The act of rest was pared down to simple experiences, such as sitting comfortably, without the expectation of experiencing profound enlightenment. Dr. DiGangi recommends small steps and emphasizes allowing the process to unfold naturally, relying on digital mindfulness tools, and making rest a high-priority personal goal.

In a compelling analogy, Dr. DiGangi compared rest to currency, equating it with the value of professional success, money, and relationships. Recognizing and treating rest as such a critical currency might be the key to embracing it logically and wholeheartedly.

Towards the end, Dr. DiGangi shared a thought-provoking takeaway, encapsulating her entire teaching. She encouraged the acceptance and understanding of uncomfortable feelings like fear, unworthiness, and stress, as they are instrumental in personal growth rather than merely tormenting occurrences.